Before you award me with ribbons,
before you engrave me a plaque,
I want you to know it came natural,
I was born an asshole in fact.
I yelled at the doctor who slapped me.
I yelled at the nurses it seems.
I took up the room for two hours or more,
and used up the gauze by the reams.
Upon entering school my plight worsened.
My teachers all thought me a cad.
They would draw straws to see
who was the teach of me,
and the short straw was the teacher I had.
I entered the workforce with guts,
but the boss that hired me went nuts.
I'm a challenge un-sweet to all that I meet.
That's why my carer's in these ruts.
Looking for love is a challenge,
weather I'm up or I'm down.
No matter how I should smile,
my face always looks like a frown.
Where will I go to retire?
Where shall I lay my head?
Everyone that knew me,
and they're sure they saw through me,
will secretly hope that I'm dead.
When St. Peter greets me in heaven,
he'll inform me it's true that I'm bad.
But I'll be the asshole in heaven
and St. Pete and I will be glad.
Kevin C. Watkins - copyright 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
What Life Has Revealed To Me
there were some wonderful days
the day i graduated from college
i was so happy several people
asked me if i was high
or on drugs
no i said
i'm happy
i just graduated from college for pete's sake
there were the two surprise birthday parties
the only two birthday parties
one arranged by a boy named michael
one by a friend tiffany from school
she drove all the way back from kansas city
her homemade spice cake and frosting were made all the more especial
i loathe spice cake and love the memory
there was the day my third grade student cried
he said i
his favroiatest teacher in the whole world
wouldn't love him anymore because he was gay
i told him i loved him even more now
as if i could have loved him more
there were some lovely days
sadly the were well spaced between
heartbreaks and tragedies
between the taxes and corporations
between deaths and divorces
there were some wonderful days
mostly however
the things that were revealed to me
included not looking too closely at the homeless
least you catch poverty
like a cold
it was told to me
that one should stop
and smell roses
but when you do
people think you are crazy
or that you are about to pick them
without permission
they said that the children should lead them
but the children were told
they should be seen
and not heard
they said that the grass was always greener
on the other side of the fence
but I discovered
through simple observation
that the grass is almost
always the exact same color
no matter which
side of the fence
you are standing on
it all has to do
with the angle of the
sun's own light
the gay man from sunday
said he had
never been discriminated against
by the church
when did you marry that man
you said you loved so much
where were the
it's ok to be gay
sunday school teachers
where were the
it's ok to be gay
sunday school lessons
when did they condescend
to allow you to hold hands
like the other couples do
no they discriminated
in ten thousand different ways
in big was
in small ways
in all ways
they told him in ten thousand
ten thousand different ways
you are not of worth
you are less than
there were some good days
some brilliant days
with intelligent conversations
with actual philosophers
but mostly life has
revealed to me
my nation and faith don't
by - and - by
put much value in thinking
it's considered
if it were ever considered
threatening to the status quo
thinking is boat rocking
boat rocking is not tolerated
you will silently
be complicit
in the lie
the lie of equality
the lie of worthiness of all
or you will have to go
because we, "want the church back for the church"
pastor jamie will tell you
before he tells you of the hate
how he hates you
how he hates the church
then he breathes in
and pretends
to
be
a
friend
but you will have to go
and when you cry out
to Ron Smith
the top preacher
when you point out the lies
when you point out his lies
"oh well" is all he will say
that is the depth and breath
of his sacred ministry
"oh well" are his exact words
we hate your message so much
your instance on truth
we will condemn the form of delivery
said pastor midgorden
just before he asks
"what are gay people to us"
you will have to go
we don't like that example of thought
thinking simply will not do
there have been some wonderful days
some gloriously fabulous days
the miracle of my son's birth
catching his slimy body
when his mother pushed him out
the bloody blind screaming
quivering mass
that refused to look at me
untill three days later
when he did look
and i could see
he was only half
as afraid
me
this was overshadowed
by his dying in my arms
murdered by a drunk driver
"why daddy"
his very last words
i had no answers then
i have no answers now
there have only ever been
unanswered questions
and we can all see
the good they've done
the day i graduated from college
i was so happy several people
asked me if i was high
or on drugs
no i said
i'm happy
i just graduated from college for pete's sake
there were the two surprise birthday parties
the only two birthday parties
one arranged by a boy named michael
one by a friend tiffany from school
she drove all the way back from kansas city
her homemade spice cake and frosting were made all the more especial
i loathe spice cake and love the memory
there was the day my third grade student cried
he said i
his favroiatest teacher in the whole world
wouldn't love him anymore because he was gay
i told him i loved him even more now
as if i could have loved him more
there were some lovely days
sadly the were well spaced between
heartbreaks and tragedies
between the taxes and corporations
between deaths and divorces
there were some wonderful days
mostly however
the things that were revealed to me
included not looking too closely at the homeless
least you catch poverty
like a cold
it was told to me
that one should stop
and smell roses
but when you do
people think you are crazy
or that you are about to pick them
without permission
they said that the children should lead them
but the children were told
they should be seen
and not heard
they said that the grass was always greener
on the other side of the fence
but I discovered
through simple observation
that the grass is almost
always the exact same color
no matter which
side of the fence
you are standing on
it all has to do
with the angle of the
sun's own light
the gay man from sunday
said he had
never been discriminated against
by the church
when did you marry that man
you said you loved so much
where were the
it's ok to be gay
sunday school teachers
where were the
it's ok to be gay
sunday school lessons
when did they condescend
to allow you to hold hands
like the other couples do
no they discriminated
in ten thousand different ways
in big was
in small ways
in all ways
they told him in ten thousand
ten thousand different ways
you are not of worth
you are less than
there were some good days
some brilliant days
with intelligent conversations
with actual philosophers
but mostly life has
revealed to me
my nation and faith don't
by - and - by
put much value in thinking
it's considered
if it were ever considered
threatening to the status quo
thinking is boat rocking
boat rocking is not tolerated
you will silently
be complicit
in the lie
the lie of equality
the lie of worthiness of all
or you will have to go
because we, "want the church back for the church"
pastor jamie will tell you
before he tells you of the hate
how he hates you
how he hates the church
then he breathes in
and pretends
to
be
a
friend
but you will have to go
and when you cry out
to Ron Smith
the top preacher
when you point out the lies
when you point out his lies
"oh well" is all he will say
that is the depth and breath
of his sacred ministry
"oh well" are his exact words
we hate your message so much
your instance on truth
we will condemn the form of delivery
said pastor midgorden
just before he asks
"what are gay people to us"
you will have to go
we don't like that example of thought
thinking simply will not do
there have been some wonderful days
some gloriously fabulous days
the miracle of my son's birth
catching his slimy body
when his mother pushed him out
the bloody blind screaming
quivering mass
that refused to look at me
untill three days later
when he did look
and i could see
he was only half
as afraid
me
this was overshadowed
by his dying in my arms
murdered by a drunk driver
"why daddy"
his very last words
i had no answers then
i have no answers now
there have only ever been
unanswered questions
and we can all see
the good they've done
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
His Prize Possession
His prize possession is an exquisitely constructed Japanese cricket cage.
It is so special, sooo VERY special, that he keeps it in a box.
He keeps that box in a locked cabinet half-way hidden behind his chair.
"Look!" He will exclaim, after the ritual of the unveiling.
After moving the chair and with a certain kind of gleam you haven't seen on any one's face in such a long time, and after he reveals the key's secret hiding place. After opening the first box, and after placing the ancient cricket cage before you.
"Look!" He will exclaim. "Not a drop of glue, not a hint of a nail or brad!"
"The art isn't in the object itself. The art is in the making of it."
It's important to him that you understand this part. This is the teacher's lesson.
Although the ratty thing looks to be about a thousand years old.
And even though it's constructed out of slivers of bamboo thinner than tooth picks.
And even though there isn't a drop of glue not a hit of a nail or a brad.
He will astound you when he leaps up doing a perfect handstand on top of the little thing.
His feet will stretch towards the ceiling and he will wiggle his toes in a most curious manner.
He then informs you that couldn't, just simply could not ever fit back into his cage again.
He will tell you of the songs of the cricket.
He will tell you that those songs are lodged in his soul.
He will tell you of the secret prayers of crickets.
He will tell you that crickets pray for the same things and you or I.
To stand free, on top of your cage and look for drops of glue or hints of nails or brads.
It is so special, sooo VERY special, that he keeps it in a box.
He keeps that box in a locked cabinet half-way hidden behind his chair.
"Look!" He will exclaim, after the ritual of the unveiling.
After moving the chair and with a certain kind of gleam you haven't seen on any one's face in such a long time, and after he reveals the key's secret hiding place. After opening the first box, and after placing the ancient cricket cage before you.
"Look!" He will exclaim. "Not a drop of glue, not a hint of a nail or brad!"
"The art isn't in the object itself. The art is in the making of it."
It's important to him that you understand this part. This is the teacher's lesson.
Although the ratty thing looks to be about a thousand years old.
And even though it's constructed out of slivers of bamboo thinner than tooth picks.
And even though there isn't a drop of glue not a hit of a nail or a brad.
He will astound you when he leaps up doing a perfect handstand on top of the little thing.
His feet will stretch towards the ceiling and he will wiggle his toes in a most curious manner.
He then informs you that couldn't, just simply could not ever fit back into his cage again.
He will tell you of the songs of the cricket.
He will tell you that those songs are lodged in his soul.
He will tell you of the secret prayers of crickets.
He will tell you that crickets pray for the same things and you or I.
To stand free, on top of your cage and look for drops of glue or hints of nails or brads.
Friday, July 1, 2011
My Friend, When I Meet St. Peter
I don't mean to distance myself.
I don't mean to seem aloof.
I'm not demanding perfection.
I'm not demanding proof.
But when I approach those pearly gates,
When that glorious day begins,
I'm going to deny that I knew you,
I'm going to deny we were friends.
You see I need Heaven
For I need a place to dwell,
And if St. Peter knows I knew you
I just might end up in hell.
Now this doesn't mean I don't love you.
It does not mean I'm untrue.
It just means that if St. Peter should ask,
My answer might happen to be, "who?"
My loves have non-christian friends,
They live their lives quite free.
But if your a non-christian buddy,
Your an acquaintance to me.
I wish you well my brother.
May you avoid hunger and thirst.
And won't you please put in a good word for me
If you should meet St. Peter first?
I don't mean to seem aloof.
I'm not demanding perfection.
I'm not demanding proof.
But when I approach those pearly gates,
When that glorious day begins,
I'm going to deny that I knew you,
I'm going to deny we were friends.
You see I need Heaven
For I need a place to dwell,
And if St. Peter knows I knew you
I just might end up in hell.
Now this doesn't mean I don't love you.
It does not mean I'm untrue.
It just means that if St. Peter should ask,
My answer might happen to be, "who?"
My loves have non-christian friends,
They live their lives quite free.
But if your a non-christian buddy,
Your an acquaintance to me.
I wish you well my brother.
May you avoid hunger and thirst.
And won't you please put in a good word for me
If you should meet St. Peter first?
Thursday, June 30, 2011
HOME MADE SOAP
When asked I pretend I'm looking forward
I don't want to seem like damaged goods
But all the while I'm looking back over my shoulder
At what might have been but never was
No silver horned unicorn dancing in an emerald field
could make me believe again
Only the smell of your homemade soap can remind me of when the bloom was new
Only you holding my hand
Only your kiss can restore
Copyright - Kevin Watkins - 2011
I don't want to seem like damaged goods
But all the while I'm looking back over my shoulder
At what might have been but never was
No silver horned unicorn dancing in an emerald field
could make me believe again
Only the smell of your homemade soap can remind me of when the bloom was new
Only you holding my hand
Only your kiss can restore
Copyright - Kevin Watkins - 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
THE DAY THAT BUDDHA LOST HIS BLING
He was headed for the middle path on a bright and sunny day
when the diamonds caught his inner eye as he passed by Cartier.
Now he thought a bit of blingage couldn't hurt at all,
So he bought the largest diamond watch though his wrist was rather small.
Now this shocked the world as shocking things will do.
All religious leaders felt their pants fill up with poo.
Hindus were doubting reincarnation to the hilt.
Catholics were wondering upon who's bones they'd built.
Islamics were wondering if Mohammad was the one,
While Jews started thinking Jesus was the son.
Hare Krishnas stopped playing their tambourines at last,
And Puritans were seeking out a hedonistic blast.
Then one day it happened,
His wrist was unadorned.
His teacher asked him sharply,
With just a hint of scorn.
"Where are your diamonds Buddha?
What's with this wrist of gloom?"
"I left my diamond watch," He said.
"Back in my hotel room."
All was right with the world my friends,
The angels in heaven were singing.
The world was spinning on it's axis again,
Buddha's wrist was sans the blinging.
by Kevin Watkins - copywright 2010
when the diamonds caught his inner eye as he passed by Cartier.
Now he thought a bit of blingage couldn't hurt at all,
So he bought the largest diamond watch though his wrist was rather small.
Now this shocked the world as shocking things will do.
All religious leaders felt their pants fill up with poo.
Hindus were doubting reincarnation to the hilt.
Catholics were wondering upon who's bones they'd built.
Islamics were wondering if Mohammad was the one,
While Jews started thinking Jesus was the son.
Hare Krishnas stopped playing their tambourines at last,
And Puritans were seeking out a hedonistic blast.
Then one day it happened,
His wrist was unadorned.
His teacher asked him sharply,
With just a hint of scorn.
"Where are your diamonds Buddha?
What's with this wrist of gloom?"
"I left my diamond watch," He said.
"Back in my hotel room."
All was right with the world my friends,
The angels in heaven were singing.
The world was spinning on it's axis again,
Buddha's wrist was sans the blinging.
by Kevin Watkins - copywright 2010
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