there were some wonderful days
the day i graduated from college
i was so happy several people
asked me if i was high
or on drugs
no i said
i'm happy
i just graduated from college for pete's sake
there were the two surprise birthday parties
the only two birthday parties
one arranged by a boy named michael
one by a friend tiffany from school
she drove all the way back from kansas city
her homemade spice cake and frosting were made all the more especial
i loathe spice cake and love the memory
there was the day my third grade student cried
he said i
his favroiatest teacher in the whole world
wouldn't love him anymore because he was gay
i told him i loved him even more now
as if i could have loved him more
there were some lovely days
sadly the were well spaced between
heartbreaks and tragedies
between the taxes and corporations
between deaths and divorces
there were some wonderful days
mostly however
the things that were revealed to me
included not looking too closely at the homeless
least you catch poverty
like a cold
it was told to me
that one should stop
and smell roses
but when you do
people think you are crazy
or that you are about to pick them
without permission
they said that the children should lead them
but the children were told
they should be seen
and not heard
they said that the grass was always greener
on the other side of the fence
but I discovered
through simple observation
that the grass is almost
always the exact same color
no matter which
side of the fence
you are standing on
it all has to do
with the angle of the
sun's own light
the gay man from sunday
said he had
never been discriminated against
by the church
when did you marry that man
you said you loved so much
where were the
it's ok to be gay
sunday school teachers
where were the
it's ok to be gay
sunday school lessons
when did they condescend
to allow you to hold hands
like the other couples do
no they discriminated
in ten thousand different ways
in big was
in small ways
in all ways
they told him in ten thousand
ten thousand different ways
you are not of worth
you are less than
there were some good days
some brilliant days
with intelligent conversations
with actual philosophers
but mostly life has
revealed to me
my nation and faith don't
by - and - by
put much value in thinking
it's considered
if it were ever considered
threatening to the status quo
thinking is boat rocking
boat rocking is not tolerated
you will silently
be complicit
in the lie
the lie of equality
the lie of worthiness of all
or you will have to go
because we, "want the church back for the church"
pastor jamie will tell you
before he tells you of the hate
how he hates you
how he hates the church
then he breathes in
and pretends
to
be
a
friend
but you will have to go
and when you cry out
to Ron Smith
the top preacher
when you point out the lies
when you point out his lies
"oh well" is all he will say
that is the depth and breath
of his sacred ministry
"oh well" are his exact words
we hate your message so much
your instance on truth
we will condemn the form of delivery
said pastor midgorden
just before he asks
"what are gay people to us"
you will have to go
we don't like that example of thought
thinking simply will not do
there have been some wonderful days
some gloriously fabulous days
the miracle of my son's birth
catching his slimy body
when his mother pushed him out
the bloody blind screaming
quivering mass
that refused to look at me
untill three days later
when he did look
and i could see
he was only half
as afraid
me
this was overshadowed
by his dying in my arms
murdered by a drunk driver
"why daddy"
his very last words
i had no answers then
i have no answers now
there have only ever been
unanswered questions
and we can all see
the good they've done
